Dummy me

I read this this morning. I thought it was funny.
"The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obliged to act accordingly... Christian scholarship is the churches prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Oh priceless scholarship what would we do without you? Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament."
Soren Kierkegaard; "Provocations: Spiritual Writings of Kirkegaard"
Of course by posting this I realize I become the biggest hypocrite. I seem to imply that I do understand the words of the New Testament in their entirety, which I don’t, nor do I believe I ever could, and then I also seem to claim that I adhere to them, which I most obviously fall painfully short of. But I am reading this book "Irresistible Revolutionary" Shane Claiborn which is where I got the quote from in the first place (I know I did not notarize my quote properly or whatever you are supposed to do, Oh well). It’s not a new message it is actually pretty old. He talks about… well ok I am only maybe a fifth of the way through it so I’m not entirely sure what his actual message is, I’m not sure he even has one. But he tells lots of stories about really getting down and dirty to show love to other people. He talks about sleeping with the homeless on the street or in abandon church buildings. He went to Calcutta and worked with Mother Teresa and the Sisters Of Mercy, hung out with Lepers and generally did stuff most of us think is nice but would never actually do ourselves. He describes this stuff in the light of his own search for authentic Christianity not as a means of making us that don’t feel guilty. I don’t think anyone I or anyone I really know is disingenuous about their faith nor do most of them believe in a faith without works. But I have been a Chritian my whole life and I am still always searching for, and am at the same time incredibly fearful of, and shy away from, a faith that really sets me on fire. I know all of my excuses for not doing this stuff, safety, finical, lack of opportunity/experience which are all rubbish. And I realize dreaming about this stuff because you read it in a book is also very foolish. I guess I am just struggling to understand why I idealize these things and have no gonads to move on them. Its frustrating really, I feel like a fraud teaching kids discipleship when I really don’t follow the path that Jesus walked myself. I know a lot about the path, I admire it, I teach about it, but I don’t walk it, then I thank God for his grace and keep on dreaming. This sucks. And what does it help to write about it? I don’t know. It just makes me feel like an even bigger dummy.
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Happens every time

So funny thing; In my previous post "Mrs. Right" I told you guys about this internet dating service I signed up on. It still feels kinda lame to say "Internet dating" but I’m getting over it. So turns out I get matched up with this girl from Grande Prairie, then as if that were not a coincidence enough she happens to be friends with one of my good friends totally bizarre. Anyway so now I am hooked I have been learning about this girl slowly though this "guided communication" that they have. First it was answer five multiple-choice questions about yourself (like you can really get to know someone through multiple choice). Then we sent each other these ten must have’s and can’t stand’s. Ten things that someone you would consider dating must have or do, and ten things that if they do they are on the outs. A little more personal I guess but it still seems a little clinical. Now we are exchanging short answer questions, three questions that we actually made up ourselves and can give answers back in our own words. Now all this seems a little weird to me still but this girl seems pretty cool so I am totally curious. I just get hooked on these things so easily oh well maybe this will be one of those times that it turns out to be a really good thing we’ll just have to see.
Oh yeah as for me thinking this profile did not really suit me so well; I sent it off to a few people who know me pretty good and they all said that it was pretty accurate. Goes to show what I know, even about myself. Anyway guys take it easy.
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Confirmation of Madness...

My confirmation class is still driving me nuts. Half the class is there that really want to be there and enjoy learning about discipleship and such even if they do tend to give me pretty pat answers. The other half decidedly does not want to be there and are generally jerks. Not bad people, I don’t dislike them, actually I find them quite entertaining, but when you are talking about what it means to be Christian to people who decidedly do not want to be Christians it makes it a little rough. At first I told them that if they did not want to be there they should not be there. But then I changed my mind and said even if they do not subscribe to what it is that the church believes or to what I am teaching it is still good to come and learn anyway. "It’s important to know what exactly it is that you are disagreeing with" was how I put it… or I hope I put it that way anyway. But I maintained that if by the end of the year they still disagreed, it’s probably best that they do not get confirmed. I said I would be happy to talk to any parents that have a problem with that. The funny thing is that any parents that would have a problem with that hardly come to church if at all and are not passionate about it enough to talk to me about it but will talk about it behind my back maybe even to the council. Well at least this should get rid of some boredom for the next little bit. Peace guys.
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Happy Happy Birthday To Me!!!!

Guess what? I am now officially 25. I’m not sure if I was ever unofficially 25 but now I do not need to worry about that because here I am. The thing I loved most about my birthday this year was that a lot of people remembered and called and such and generally just gave me lots-a-love. Made me all warm and fuzzy inside it was great. I don’t like to think of myself as someone who needs attention but apparently I am, to some degree at least. The ironic part was that I was in Jasper so I was not able to receive any of those calls but they were much appreciated none the less. Another really cool thing was I got pancakes and Ice cream. I don’t normally like pancakes but the people I was on the ski trip with made me some, and then put this awesome ice cream on top. I tells ya it was heavenly, it was like this cookie dough ice cream with brownie chunks in it, absolutely amazing. Then with the warm pancakes I could have just died. This is the second year in a row I got breakfast for my birthday I like this tradition. Breakfast is defiantly way up there for my favorite way to spend my time. Anyway thanks to all you that remembered and if you are one of those that didn’t I am not offended because I probably forgot yours too, sorry. Peace guys
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Mrs.Right

So I just finished an online dating survey. I don’t know why I filled it out. Just seemed like the thing to do at the time. I was looking through the church e-mail and the secretary had apparently filled one out for her daughter, so she was getting some responses. I went to check it out and ended up doing the quiz more out of curiosity than anything. Well now I am apparently a member. I was looking through my profile and it seemed a little off. Not horribly wrong just kinda accentuated the parts about me being very out going and the life of the party and such. Which seemed to me to be a bit of an overstatement. The biggest one was; "You have a natural, outgoing style that some have labeled as the "natural salesperson." You are generally likable, talkative and socially assertive. Your primary intent is convincing or persuading people." Since when was my "primary intent" so convince and persuade. And I do not ever remember being referred to as a "natural salesperson". Oh well maybe Mrs. Right is waiting right around the corner. We shall see.
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