Dummy me

I read this this morning. I thought it was funny.
"The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obliged to act accordingly... Christian scholarship is the churches prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Oh priceless scholarship what would we do without you? Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament."
Soren Kierkegaard; "Provocations: Spiritual Writings of Kirkegaard"
Of course by posting this I realize I become the biggest hypocrite. I seem to imply that I do understand the words of the New Testament in their entirety, which I don’t, nor do I believe I ever could, and then I also seem to claim that I adhere to them, which I most obviously fall painfully short of. But I am reading this book "Irresistible Revolutionary" Shane Claiborn which is where I got the quote from in the first place (I know I did not notarize my quote properly or whatever you are supposed to do, Oh well). It’s not a new message it is actually pretty old. He talks about… well ok I am only maybe a fifth of the way through it so I’m not entirely sure what his actual message is, I’m not sure he even has one. But he tells lots of stories about really getting down and dirty to show love to other people. He talks about sleeping with the homeless on the street or in abandon church buildings. He went to Calcutta and worked with Mother Teresa and the Sisters Of Mercy, hung out with Lepers and generally did stuff most of us think is nice but would never actually do ourselves. He describes this stuff in the light of his own search for authentic Christianity not as a means of making us that don’t feel guilty. I don’t think anyone I or anyone I really know is disingenuous about their faith nor do most of them believe in a faith without works. But I have been a Chritian my whole life and I am still always searching for, and am at the same time incredibly fearful of, and shy away from, a faith that really sets me on fire. I know all of my excuses for not doing this stuff, safety, finical, lack of opportunity/experience which are all rubbish. And I realize dreaming about this stuff because you read it in a book is also very foolish. I guess I am just struggling to understand why I idealize these things and have no gonads to move on them. Its frustrating really, I feel like a fraud teaching kids discipleship when I really don’t follow the path that Jesus walked myself. I know a lot about the path, I admire it, I teach about it, but I don’t walk it, then I thank God for his grace and keep on dreaming. This sucks. And what does it help to write about it? I don’t know. It just makes me feel like an even bigger dummy.
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Happens every time

So funny thing; In my previous post "Mrs. Right" I told you guys about this internet dating service I signed up on. It still feels kinda lame to say "Internet dating" but I’m getting over it. So turns out I get matched up with this girl from Grande Prairie, then as if that were not a coincidence enough she happens to be friends with one of my good friends totally bizarre. Anyway so now I am hooked I have been learning about this girl slowly though this "guided communication" that they have. First it was answer five multiple-choice questions about yourself (like you can really get to know someone through multiple choice). Then we sent each other these ten must have’s and can’t stand’s. Ten things that someone you would consider dating must have or do, and ten things that if they do they are on the outs. A little more personal I guess but it still seems a little clinical. Now we are exchanging short answer questions, three questions that we actually made up ourselves and can give answers back in our own words. Now all this seems a little weird to me still but this girl seems pretty cool so I am totally curious. I just get hooked on these things so easily oh well maybe this will be one of those times that it turns out to be a really good thing we’ll just have to see.
Oh yeah as for me thinking this profile did not really suit me so well; I sent it off to a few people who know me pretty good and they all said that it was pretty accurate. Goes to show what I know, even about myself. Anyway guys take it easy.
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Confirmation of Madness...

My confirmation class is still driving me nuts. Half the class is there that really want to be there and enjoy learning about discipleship and such even if they do tend to give me pretty pat answers. The other half decidedly does not want to be there and are generally jerks. Not bad people, I don’t dislike them, actually I find them quite entertaining, but when you are talking about what it means to be Christian to people who decidedly do not want to be Christians it makes it a little rough. At first I told them that if they did not want to be there they should not be there. But then I changed my mind and said even if they do not subscribe to what it is that the church believes or to what I am teaching it is still good to come and learn anyway. "It’s important to know what exactly it is that you are disagreeing with" was how I put it… or I hope I put it that way anyway. But I maintained that if by the end of the year they still disagreed, it’s probably best that they do not get confirmed. I said I would be happy to talk to any parents that have a problem with that. The funny thing is that any parents that would have a problem with that hardly come to church if at all and are not passionate about it enough to talk to me about it but will talk about it behind my back maybe even to the council. Well at least this should get rid of some boredom for the next little bit. Peace guys.
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Happy Happy Birthday To Me!!!!

Guess what? I am now officially 25. I’m not sure if I was ever unofficially 25 but now I do not need to worry about that because here I am. The thing I loved most about my birthday this year was that a lot of people remembered and called and such and generally just gave me lots-a-love. Made me all warm and fuzzy inside it was great. I don’t like to think of myself as someone who needs attention but apparently I am, to some degree at least. The ironic part was that I was in Jasper so I was not able to receive any of those calls but they were much appreciated none the less. Another really cool thing was I got pancakes and Ice cream. I don’t normally like pancakes but the people I was on the ski trip with made me some, and then put this awesome ice cream on top. I tells ya it was heavenly, it was like this cookie dough ice cream with brownie chunks in it, absolutely amazing. Then with the warm pancakes I could have just died. This is the second year in a row I got breakfast for my birthday I like this tradition. Breakfast is defiantly way up there for my favorite way to spend my time. Anyway thanks to all you that remembered and if you are one of those that didn’t I am not offended because I probably forgot yours too, sorry. Peace guys
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Mrs.Right

So I just finished an online dating survey. I don’t know why I filled it out. Just seemed like the thing to do at the time. I was looking through the church e-mail and the secretary had apparently filled one out for her daughter, so she was getting some responses. I went to check it out and ended up doing the quiz more out of curiosity than anything. Well now I am apparently a member. I was looking through my profile and it seemed a little off. Not horribly wrong just kinda accentuated the parts about me being very out going and the life of the party and such. Which seemed to me to be a bit of an overstatement. The biggest one was; "You have a natural, outgoing style that some have labeled as the "natural salesperson." You are generally likable, talkative and socially assertive. Your primary intent is convincing or persuading people." Since when was my "primary intent" so convince and persuade. And I do not ever remember being referred to as a "natural salesperson". Oh well maybe Mrs. Right is waiting right around the corner. We shall see.
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Been another long while.

I know! I know! I am a horrible person because I have not bloged for like two weeks blah blah blah…
Well I figured I should get on it since I am just sitting here with nothing to do waiting for kids to arrive for our games night, and hey this beats pacing the floor. What a week dude I feel like have been run over by a steam roller and it is not even close to being finished. I won’t bore you with trivial details mostly just because if I put it down on paper (or screen as it may be) it just looks so insignificant and like I didn’t actually do a whole lot and I have really no right to complain. So You will just have to trust me that I was busy… well not so much busy just a lot on my mind and a lot of stress. Ha!! "Stress" I used to laugh at the word now look at me quiver. The thing is I just don’t think I, or ninety percent of people in Canada for that matter, really need to be stressed out at all. We just put ourselves under it to seem like we matter or have important lives. It’s like the more stress we have the more productive we are and therefor the more valuable we are.
I am not trying to belittle anyone’s life, or how they feel by any means. Really what is the worst that would happen if something didn’t go right for me? Maybe a couple disappointed kids, that would kinda stink but I could make it up to them. And even when things do go wrong there is almost always a way to retrieve them and still have a great night.
Say everything goes horribly wrong and our mission trip does not go to Mexico. Now I hardly think that "not going to Mexico" is really going to be the end of the world. I hate to a dramatist but, George in the Middle East who has an American base on one side and on one side and some radical group on the other now he has stress. He has a bad day and his house gets blown up. If he is lucky he and his family will not be in it at the time.
I just think we get so busy with stupid things that we need to take a step back eat pancakes with peanut butter and syrup and have a good strong cup of coffee. I did that this afternoon it was great. The best part was sitting in my office afterwards with the sun shining in the window, feeling full, with the glorious sweetness still lingering on my pallet, now that was great.
Well if any of this makes sense great! If not well looks like you were not missing much
Peace
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PS. It is now a quarter after and the kids still have not shown up. Serves me right for trying to do it on a Friday again, I should know better.

Bahh!! Lovebug!!

So I just checked out the blog world and it would seem that many people tend to agree with me that valentines-day is ridicules. Of course that is the blog world, so how many of them are lonely lonely nerds bitter at the world who has passed them by? Well not me I’m just bitter at a world I passed by. (I have no idea what that means).
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Crazy Continued!!

So I was listening to Thousand Foot Crutch in my car. There is a line in one of the songs that goes "Can’t understand my chemistry, laugh if that makes me ordinary." So you know how a song or even just one line gets stuck in your head and you even find yourself mumbling under your breath. Well this was me, except I was walking through Supperstore kinda half singing under my breath then, as cued by the lyrics I laughed out loud. This was not under my breath however no this was a good hearty mocking laugh "Ha! Ha! Ha!!!". Scared the crap out of this nice young mother right across the tomatoes from me. So as means of explaining my bizarre behavior I said, "oh sorry. I was just singing along with the song." Like everyone could hear what was going on in my head. In true Ponoka style she gave the polite smile and nodded her head, to her credit she did not run or even back away as if she were scared to have her back to me but carried on her way seemingly non-pulsed. I’m not sure if she was just used to this behavior living in Ponoka surrounded by crazies, or if she realized that once in Ponoka even the non crazies act a little odd, or she simply accepted the fact that there was music in the air and agreed with me that it was a fine time to laugh, as she was herself crazy. Any way you slice, Tim does not come out looking very cool.
Peace kids
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Were the trouble began.

Hey hey!!!
Ok so I have got to become more flagrant. My life is seriously missing some good ol’ fashion controversy. I had my six month review today (something I totally forgot about until I just happened to stop by my office in between appointments, by pure luck I was right on time, plus it made me look like I was a busy boy which is a good thing). I am good with personal interaction and people feel they can talk to me, I am firmly rooted in my relationship with Jesus, but I have horrible organization skills and my communication could use some tweaking as well. Wow what a shocker!! Anyone who has known me for five minutes would have come up with these same conclusions. I guess in that circumstance it is good to be predictable, helps from getting blindsided. I just think some things could use some mixing up. Bible study for instance, get some blood pumping, get them to think for a bit instead of just swallowing whatever their told. I know it is kinda just the age for that but still give me a challenge you know.
Anyway maybe I just wanted to use the word flagrant as well who knows. Keep it real.
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Breakforth and Multiply!!!!

So Breakforth was fantastic. Not FANTASTIC!!!! But still pretty cool. I got to sit in on all of Peter Wagners sessions on Spiritual Gifts, very cool. If you do not know who Peter Wagner is well you are just missing out. Imagine the dearest old man you can think of fill him with really great knowledge and yes I did say dearest but there is just simply no other way to describe him. I learned a ton. And guess what! My Spiritual Gifts are leadership, teaching, and knowledge, very cool and the greatest part is that they really have nothing to do with me but what God does through me which is even better or like down right amazing. I know it is not really a definitive science or anything but its really cool to get a glimpse into where God is leading me in my life and all that jazz.
The main speakers were really great as well, well most of them anyway, one guy was a little rough to say the least but God did some very cool stuff though his talk anyway. KP Yohansen was one of my favorites. He talked about getting back to the basics in ministry and really focusing on Jesus, a pretty simple message but one you can never hear too much. And I mean the guy is so interesting and fun to listen too kinda like an East Indian Albert Einstein minus the boring math junk. Of corse the worship was super as well Darrel Evans, Tim Hughs, nad of course Kutless (if anyone is asking "cut-what??!!" you just gotta pick up their worship album, very nice) I don’t want to sound like it was all cool just because there were a bunch of big names there but if you have ever heard or seen these guys you know they are all all about Jesus and He is well… beyond amazing!!
And the cool thing is I don’t feel like I just had this mountain top experience that I’m gonna come crashing down from (no matter what this blog sounds like) it was very down to earth, exciting, but very real.
Plus I got'ta hang out with a really great friend of mine Justina and her very cool friend Kim all weekend and that was super too.
Man do I sound like a blubbering idiot or what? But such is life, it was cool.
Take it easy guys
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Whats the Point?

I had Bible study last night. I’ve been pretty sick lately so I didn’t really have time to prepare anything, I figured we would watch a couple Christian comedian DVD’s. The first one I will admit was not all that great it wasn’t absolutely horrible but was defiantly lacking. The biggest problem was though that as soon as the kids heard it was a "Christian comedian" they immediately decided it could not possibly be funny "only Adults find stuff like that funny". Unfortunately the opening act did not sway their opinion. The second one though was really funny, it was just a bunch of clips form different comedians and every one cracked me up, and despite their best intentions even elicited a few laughs from the three guys who in particular were against such a variety. The one clip in particular was really hilarious with these three guys on stage doing improve. Everyone was cracking up until on a wide shot one of the kids exclaimed "Hey!! They’re in a church" well then it was just not so funny. They said it was because they just weren’t funny but the kids were laughing before they realized it was in a church but thought it was lame afterwards. I tried to get some sort of discussion going but it would only revert to family guy clips. Maybe it is our fault. Maybe we have ingrained this idea of church that is like oil and water with the rest of life as kids see it. Maybe it is a culture that has waged war against the idea of accountability and an ultimate morality. Perhaps it has chosen the church and God as it’s primary target with such success that even Church kids see it as stuffy and out of date without using their own experience and wisdom to discern the truth. I myself have declared something’s less exciting because it is "churchy". It angers me and frustrates me, that "church" has become synonymous with "boring". Yet this still excites me the name of Christ provokes reactions far from boring. You talk to someone about Jesus and even if they do not heed you or try to shut you out his name still gets a reaction. People get angry, scared, or defensive, or else better yet feel hope and the fire of faith ignited in their hearts, but they do not get bored. Perhaps that was the problem, it was too churchy and not enough Jesus.
But this problem still remains; we allow our preconceived perceptions dictate our opinions before we allow ourselves to experience something for what it is. If it is Churchy it is boring if it is nerdy we can’t enjoy it, if it won’t explode than really what the point. If it rambles on and gets further and further away from any sort of point it must be a blog.
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Goob ay ...

Today I am just tuckered right out. On Sunday I "brought the message" which apparently is completely different from doing or giving the sermon, According to pastor Dave anyway, and well Who am I to argue. Then I "brought the message" at Rimoka, the local retirement village and soap opera. And in the evening I brought the message at the community Chapel service at The champion center, sort of a halfway house for men from the psychiatric hospital. Though all of that I must have shook at least five hundred hands, it’s a wonder I even have skin left. Someone or a few of them must have had some sort of virus. Now I feel like I am swimming though a bowl of Jell-O, every movement is labored and every sound I make is missing at least one vowel or consonant and what is coming in my ears is a mix of Swedish Chef Gibberish and really bad jazz music. I knew the risks before going into ministry and I am not looking back now, but I think investing in some good hand sanitizer is in order.
Peace kids
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The Little Evil Srawberry

I think Canadian Tire is bad. I know that is not an entirely deep and profound thought but I need to warn anyone who considers taking their car to Canadian Tire not to do it. My car recently decided to die while in the parking lot of a Canadian Tire. I tried to get the thing going myself but to no avail. And in fact actually kinda bunged it up worse that when I started. I had AMA I could have had it towed anywhere but instead figured; "what the hey as long as I am here". Well they did "fix" it they gave me a new fuel pump and it worked for a grand total of two days. This morning I go to start my car and the exact same thing is happening that they had apparently fixed a couple days ago, it won’t start. So they messed it up or never even got the problem in the first place, and still charged me four hundred and fifty bucks. Now I am in Ponoka and the Canadian tire is in Red Deer I am not about to pay someone else to fix what they originally messed up. So to AMA it was and down to Red Deer. Sucks to be me. (Well ok not in the whole grand scheme of things but with this particular issue it is not what I would call pleasant) Anyway I will keep you posted but be warned of the mark of the evil strawberry.
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My life

Well It has been a while I know but Life is just not all that interesting for me what can I say. I think we need to move Ponoka on closer to Edmonton or Calgary. Don’t get me wrong I love Ponoka it is nice and small People say hi to you. Any time you go anywhere you are bound to run into someone you know. This is just super. But unfortunately everyone I know is somewhat older than me or has a job where they go to bed at like 9:00 at night, or have kids to put to bed or any other such nonsense. That’s when I am normally getting off work! It just does not jive. So to find someone to hang out with I would have to drive two hours to Calgary or an hour over to Camrose or an hour to Edmonton and by that time these other people are probably all in the process of winding down themselves. Not to mention the whole gas and making me broke thing. How lame is that. Life is just not fair I tells ya. But then again who ever said it was. And there are a lot worse problems to have I know, but such is life.
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Off To War!!!!

Hey kids, Well here I be, safe and un-scathed. New Years was great, a little less eventful than the last one but since the last one involved my car’s engine being completely encapsulated in ice I think less eventful may not be entirely so bad. And I am glad to say I am one of the very few people I know who came through without ending up engaged or shipped off unawares to join the French Foreign Legion. Ok so I don’t know anyone who inadvertently or advertently for that matter, joined the French Foreign Legion but a number of my friends not to mention my little sister did get engaged. Personally I would have gone with the legion but hey we are not here to judge.
So now there will be another family wedding. Not too bad I enjoy a good party. Though I doubt that I will be in the wedding party, I will most likely be forced to stand and smile for pictures. I don’t know what it is about pictures but they just drive me batty. The average family snap around the dinner table or with friends is no big deal and can be fun, but there is just something about standing around having a billion pictures taken pose after pose that just drives me crazy. I know I have issues but who doesn’t. Anyway congratulations Sarah and Dave, Bobby and Tim (not "The Greatest Tim" but he still seems pretty swell), Ryan and Kristy, Jon and Donna, (told you there were a lot!!!) Hope you like cacti
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Good tidings of peas.

So what do you do when you just can not get motivated to work but you still feel the need to not be completely useless? You Blog. I think blogger and slacker must be synonymous. Anyway second day back at work and second day in the completely deserted office people must know the secretary is away because the phone does not even ring. Normally these would be ideal working conditions, and yet here I am. Maybe I should consider this my stretch before going on to actual work, I hear this can be quite healthy and may actually prevent any exertion injuries that could otherwise occur over the course of my strenuous day.
Anyway I had a fantastic Christmas. Thanks to the fam for all the wonderful goodness we shared in. Maybe this has something to do with my lethargy? We’ll it was worth it.
Now for the new years resolution; From this day henceforth (props to Sarah for henceforth) Tim shall never again be seen eating over six pounds of any one type of meat in one sitting. I know it will be tough but I am counting on all of you (though I just realized there may actually be people I do not know reading this Blog, that’s a little odd) to hold me accountable. Thanks guys means a lot. Anyway stretch over, better get to work. Love you guys (well most of you, at least the ones I know anyway)
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Christmas at last!!!

Hey kids
Well Here I am in GP. This is gonna be the last Christmas in the childhood home. Sorta sad I guess, but such is life really. Also I think it helps that Mom and Dad have been doing renovations like crazy. A lot of the things that mark this as "our house" are gone. Like the fireplace that had a bright strip of red on it from some of that slimy goop from the quarter machines. The rug that we could count every stain and where it was from the door that dad put his hand through has been repainted. Walls have been patched and painted. Actually come to think of it it’s lucky this place is even still standing. Even our old tree house is gone. All this has happened gradually over the past few years so we got a chance to ease into it. More importantly the move will make Mom and Dad happy so it’s all good in my book.
Anyway the food and drink are as awesome and plentifully usual, we still play cards with the same fervor, and Grandma still cheats. So all in all a fantabulus Christmas. So Here I am wishing all of you continued merriment and a fantastic Christmas. To God be the Glory forever and ever amen.
Peace guys
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One is the loneliest number….

So I have been pretty lonely lately. Not the "Oh poor me, sucks to be Tim." kinda lonely
(Despite what my title implies), just the not a whole lot is going on, off in my own little world sort of deal. Which is not necessarily a bad thing we all need our space and time to think, and I do interact with people. I saw Dave and Jen on the weekend, I have coffee with people, I’m not a recluse. But I think it is time for me to get a roommate. Preferably like a couple roommates it would be nice to have a community again you know. I think I have said this at least once before but every now and then it just kinda hits home. I have no idea how I will go about doing this, I guess I will just ask around see what pops up. There is always the paper, but I’m thinking that in Ponoka it may be a good idea to know someone at least a little before sharing a toilet with them. Anyway keep this in your prayers if you will, and send me your prayers too!! I have this great new prayer journal, and it is just so fantastic to be able to pray for people specifically! I usually forget stuff like that then my prayer times are kinda repetitive but to remember people, and pray for specifics is really quite a thrill.
Anyway peeps, keep it real!
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Charcoal is good!!!

I have been developing my taste for charcoal lately. This morning I got up and Put toast in the toaster then proceeded to read the paper (yet another way I am turning into my Father). Fortunately I have a hyper sensitive smoke detector so the toast only ended up mostly burnt but not so much so that I could justify throwing it out, nothing a little extra jam does not take care of. At lunch I burnt the grilled cheese sandwiches, which is nothing new. I just about always do that no matter how hard I try to focus on not doing it, something always distracts me. The thing was I was at someone else’s house and I burnt his too He ate it but I’m pretty sure it was only so that he could give me a hard time about it. Then for supper I left my chicken fingers and fries in the oven too long this time they were quite unsalvageable apparently I forgot to turn the smoke detector back on after Breakfast. So tuna melts it was. The funny thing was I burnt those too. My Confidence in my own cooking is seriously waning. Oh well charcoal is supposed to be good for your heart right? Well I got a Council meeting in an hour, second one in three weeks, so I may need it.
Anyway guys love ya!! See ya on the flip side.
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The Bull of Life

I want to leave an update but the words just are not there. I have always firmly believed that if you are not going to tell a story well, you should just not tell it at all. Unfortunately this mantra does not run over into many other areas of my life. Today I realized at ten to twelve that I was supposed to be teaching Old Testament Class at twelve forty. No big deal, most of my lessons are pretty much ready to go. I just have to photocopy some sheets, and if I can not think of something meaningful to say about the basic OT Bible stories after 24 years of living in the church I may as well just give up. But today I was just going to show a Christmas movie seeing as it is the last class before Christmas and I wanted to make sure every kid in that class had heard that Jesus really is what Christmas is all about at least once this season. This should have made life even easier, but unfortunately someone had swiped the movie I had been planning on using (I say swiped but they more than likely signed it out of the library like I should have a week ago). I ended up with Veggie Tales "The Toy that saved Christmas" I had never actually seen it myself, but someone had said it gave a pretty decent message. It did in-fact give a good message, but it was definitely not up to par with the usual Veggie Tales excellence. It wasn’t brutal but it was awfully close.
And then there is Youth Group. We are supposed to be having our Christmas party tonight but every kid I have talked to will not be able to make it. Fridays in Ponoka Suck!!! First thing I have planned on a Friday in two months, I should have known better. But I have this horrible sensation that some kid who heard of it but never comes for anything else may show up and I will look like a big boob. Christmas just can’t come soon enough and January is coming way too fast.
I love you all very much, I leave you with this really weird quote some old guy gave me today when I asked him how it was going; "Take the Bull of Life by the nadds and swing it around a couple times, then let it go and wave your hankie at it, you may just get an idea of what if feels like to be me" Crazy Old Vern Klause